Zuki joined the Cub Scouts. I don't know how or when they pitched it to the first grade boys but I had never seen my kid so revved up about doing something. When he came home with the application on Monday, I merely said, "Oh, the Cub Scouts," and he pounced on me like a rabid squirrel.
"Can I go, please Mommy! They make masks after school - can I go?"
Who could say no to making masks after school?
Truth is, a friend of mine had already told me how she had just signed up her son. How excited he was about the knot tying badges and learning secret hand shakes or whatever it is that Cub Scouts do to acknowledge each other. To top it off, her husband - who was a Cub Scout himself once - was equally excited about future trips and meetings that he would accompany their son to. I pictured a father wolf presenting his cub to the pack so they know not to mangle him.
Likewise, when I mentioned to my husband that I filled out a Cub Scout application for Zuki, we spent the entire dinner listening to Daddy reminisce of his Cub Scout rituals. A forty minute narrative about the proper way to fold the neckerchief and the badge placement of Cub Scout shirts and how fun it was going to be for me to sew those damned things on. Although, the first thing that caught my eye in the manual was the "Badge Magic" sold exclusively at the Cub Scout stores. It's a thing that "sticks" the badge onto the shirt. I'm sure there's ironing involved, which I hate just as much as sewing so I'm screwed either way.
And can we talk about the uniform? I was told by my friend who lives in the Boondocks of New York, it would cost fifty dollars.
Uh-huh. Maybe where you are, honey but this is New York City - try sixty dollars. Sixty Dollars! For sixty bucks I expect the friggin' badges to be sewn on for me. Oh, whatever. Daddy can't wait to see Zuki in his Cub Scout shirt. "He's going to wear it to school on meeting days," he told me.
"Yes! It's a formal shirt. It's like a Goddamned Military shirt, he can wear it to school!"
Okay, okay...curb your enthusiasm, will ya. But I snickered when he said that because my friend was actually worried about the militant curve the Scout's image portrayed, especially when a neighbor asked her if she "enlisted" her son in the Cub Scouts.
Enlistment, Draft, Brainwashing...who gives. Zuki had a one track mind when I picked him up from school to sign him up. His buddy, however wasn't too keen on joining, so Zuki threw in his pitch to persuade him.
"It's really cool! You get to make Masks!!!"
His friend looked at me and I shrugged. "They teach you how to make fire from sticks, too." I added, targeting the pyromaniac in all males. Nothing. But he came along anyway and wouldn't you know it - he enlisted.