Today is my husband's fortieth birthday. A lot is expected of someone turning forty - turning gray, getting fat. I have to say, I'm proud my husband did otherwise. No, he went bald years ago and has been consistently working out for the past seven months. Turning forty was a wake up call. It's getting a new lease on life - like a license to become Pee Wee Herman or Spongebob.
To celebrate, my husband took the day off from work. He was probably hoping to sleep late but our three-year old had other plans for Daddy. I asked Samu if he'd like to join me and walk his big brother to school, let Daddy sleep but he shook his head no.
"Then you're okay watching TV by yourself?" I asked him.
"No, I'm gonna wake up Daddy and make him watch TV with me."
He had a little demonic tone to his voice so I had to remind him that it was Daddy's birthday. "Be nice or else. You got me?" I told him.
"I got me." He answered.
I came back home to find my husband on the couch watching TV with Samu. "What is it with that kid?" He says pointing to the angel-faced Samu. "He just came up to my bed while I was sleeping and punched me in the nuts!"
Poor Daddy. His birthday was off to a painful start. I guess I didn't make things any better when I announced that after breakfast we had to take Samu back to the store where he stole two Charms Blowpops last week to make him apologize and pay for it.
At least Daddy had a little vindication for the morning assault when he saw his little assailant squirming in front of the store owner. Holding up the contraband, Samu whimpered out a barely audible apology.
"I'm sorry," he said with his chin tucked into his chest and his eyes looking upward, large and glassy with tears. He could have won an Oscar with that performance. Instead, the owner decided to let him have it.
Daddy intervened. If the kid was going to keep it, he must pay for it lest he never learn his lesson.
"Pay for it with the money Grammy gave you," Daddy commanded. So Samu pulled out a dollar from his pocket and stood on his tippy toes to place it on the counter. The owner gladly accepted it and gave him his change. Samu looked at his lollipop, ecstatic that they were legally united. He started to unwrap it.
"You can't eat that now!" Daddy yelled. Samu stopped dead in his tracks. He's told he has to wait until after lunch. Somehow I knew, at that moment Samu regretted having punched his dad in the groin earlier. Payback's a bitch.
By the time 11:30 am rolled around, Daddy cracked open a beer instead of having a second cup of coffee. I couldn't blame him. Besides, you're only forty once.
Happy birthday, love-of-my-life-pain-in-ass. Guess I should've bought you a jockstrap.