I remember the day I delivered Zuki to Pre-K and he assured me he was okay - that I should go now. I was proud and yet a little disturbed that my baby was becoming independent. Then came no-joke Kindergarten and it's don't step over the yellow line parents, let go of your kid and get the hell away from the door! The strict divide and conquer tactics were more for the parents than the children.
Although, I wasn't one of those clingy moms creating a Meryl Streep scene with my baby being ripped from my arms - I did wish for a little more drama. Instead Zuki just marched in without so much as looking back or waving goodbye. Sigh.
Two years of him leaving me to go to school - you'd think I'd get used to it by now. But no, today I escorted him to his first class at College For Kids, a summer reading program at the La Guardia Community College. I entered the classroom with the other parents, you know- to make sure everything's okay and gawk at the children. As soon as the teacher told the parents they were free to go, Zuki shooed me away.
Like I was some stray cat hanging around for scraps - a spy disguised as a fly hanging on the wall - an over protective mother cramping a five-year-old's style, as if he had any.
If I'm this hurt now, what's going to happen when he starts going places without me? Am I going to be a barnacle on his side like my schoolmate Nancy Chung's grandmother who walked her to school up until the seventh grade?
I better not! I tell myself to get a grip. Zuki may only be five but he's allowed to have his own little world that I'm not part of. Accomplishing feats of which I will never know the play by play details. Singing songs that I don't know the words to. Having his own inside jokes.
Those experts who say that being a parent is never easy were not kidding. From the day he was born, I knew there'd come a day I'd have to let him go - but did it have to start this soon? I figured I had at least another six years before I had to actually get a life. WTF?