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Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Good Of Subway (Not The Sandwich)

In my day, the subways were filthy, unreliable, dangerous and loud. The brakes SCREEEEEECHed while sparks lit up the deathly electrical awesomeness of the third rail. When the trains screamed from station to station like a Banshee, you could barely hear yourself think - much less have a conversation. If anybody talked to you, it was to take your money.

These days, subway rides are quieter. Unless you have a Mariache trio, Jack Johnson wannabes, bad Hip Hop and the classic Preacher in your car.

Today, on our way to Zuki's class in Union Square - we had the "enlightened" Jesus preacher. A young woman who felt it was her calling to invade your peaceful ride with some nonsense of having the right "relationship" with Jesus.

"Enlightenment is not obtained." She said. "Enlightenment cannot be taught. Enlightenment can only come by having a relationship with Jesus."

As I listened, I realized her statement was basically saying that you needed Jesus as your pimp to enlightenment.

ScreeEEEEch!....Gasp!

Oh, close your jaw. Surely, someone else has used the word "pimp" and Jesus in the same sentence before I did.

Not surprisingly, a woman standing next to us got fed up and told the Jesus-is-your-pimp preaching woman to "shut up."

An argument ensued and Zuki was enthralled with the action. When we reached our stop, I practically had to yank him off to leave.

"What was that about?" He asked me.

"It was about people telling people what to do - sometimes, they don't want to hear it," was my reply.

"Oh, like when you tell me to do my homework?"

Ouch. I just love riding the subway. And since I am now "enlightened" with a dose of my own medicine, I shall share an oldie but goodie to end this on a lighter note. My favorite YouTube video: "Jesus - The Musical." If you don't laugh, you'll be plagued with wine turning into water.



20 comments:

  1. Hahahaha Zuki is a smart one, I tell ya! :D But uhm yeah, I don't appreciate being preached about any religion in public places other than the church of course.

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    1. I'm afraid both boys get that "snappy retort" reflex from their dad. The talent for most inopportune time to say it? Yeah, that's all me.

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  2. enlighted jesus preacher = reason god invented ipods

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    1. Thought that was some guy named Jobbs...unless it's the same guy for you. Cuz, I could go fer that.

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  3. Oh I love a quick-witted child! Go Zuki ;)

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    1. Not sure if he meant that to be witty - he's honest, however. Gotta give him credit for that.

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  4. I laughed.

    Because if wine turned to water here, we'd have a flood.

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  5. haha! Hilarious! That would drive me batty, too!!!

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    1. Along with the No spitting, smoking and radio playing sign, they need to add preaching.

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  6. I agree with you about the gal in the subway... Hate that... Zuki's response - priceless. Ending video - loved it! :)

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    1. If Jesus could really dance like that, I'd convert in a second!

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  7. Yeah, preachy people really piss me off...as do people with no appreciation for Gloria Gaynor. Best drunken karaoke song ever.

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    1. My boys' favorite line in that song - "should've changed that stupid lock,"...any chance to sing the word "stupid."

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  8. Awesomesauce. Seriously. I'm showing Hot Joe when he gets home. Oh how I love you Nami.

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    1. The dance really puts a spin on that thorns and loin cloth fashion statement, right? Tell me how many stars Hot Joe gives it.

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  9. Smart! Very smart Zuki! :) This time, not an Airhead at all! No maam! :)

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  10. That video is awesome! Sure wasn't expecting the bus....

    Back in early 2002, while living in Berlin, some old scantly dressed drunk, managed to get on our subway car every morning. Hilarious to watch but dear Lord did he smell awful!

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    1. A drunk that attacks ALL your senses, huh? That's talent.

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