The Good Of Subway (Not The Sandwich)

In my day, the subways were filthy, unreliable, dangerous and loud. The brakes SCREEEEEECHed while sparks lit up the deathly electrical awesomeness of the third rail. When the trains screamed from station to station like a Banshee, you could barely hear yourself think - much less have a conversation. If anybody talked to you, it was to take your money.

These days, subway rides are quieter. Unless you have a Mariache trio, Jack Johnson wannabes, bad Hip Hop and the classic Preacher in your car.

Today, on our way to Zuki's class in Union Square - we had the "enlightened" Jesus preacher. A young woman who felt it was her calling to invade your peaceful ride with some nonsense of having the right "relationship" with Jesus.

"Enlightenment is not obtained." She said. "Enlightenment cannot be taught. Enlightenment can only come by having a relationship with Jesus."

As I listened, I realized her statement was basically saying that you needed Jesus as your pimp to enlightenment.

ScreeEEEEch!....Gasp!

Oh, close your jaw. Surely, someone else has used the word "pimp" and Jesus in the same sentence before I did.

Not surprisingly, a woman standing next to us got fed up and told the Jesus-is-your-pimp preaching woman to "shut up."

An argument ensued and Zuki was enthralled with the action. When we reached our stop, I practically had to yank him off to leave.

"What was that about?" He asked me.

"It was about people telling people what to do - sometimes, they don't want to hear it," was my reply.

"Oh, like when you tell me to do my homework?"

Ouch. I just love riding the subway. And since I am now "enlightened" with a dose of my own medicine, I shall share an oldie but goodie to end this on a lighter note. My favorite YouTube video: "Jesus - The Musical." If you don't laugh, you'll be plagued with wine turning into water.