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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Recovery Is A Mother Recoverer

T.G.I.F? No. H.S.I.O.W. Holy shit it's only Wednesday. (Thank you, George Carlin.)

I said this last summer, but I believe it was August. This year, it's only the second week of July and I'm already asking, is it time for school, yet? No wonder I was ready to go past my limit of three shots of Tito's. Even Kim was there to egg me on. That's what Tweeting friends are for.

Really. I'm at my wits end. I think Samu is getting crazier. He's CONSTANTLY asking for things.

"I wanna hot dog!"

"I wanna soda!"

"I want fruity Mentos!"

"I want the "Angry Birds in Space" book - ask the librarian (we're in Barnes & Noble) if they have it!"

"I want that newspaper!"

Seriously. I have Never. Bought. Him. These. Things. Ever.

Manhattan is not a good environment for him. There's food vendors, stores, farmer's markets and displays concocted by people-who-went-to-college-for-marketing everywhere. Samu's on a consumer high, much like when he eats cotton candy washed down with Mountain Dew.

So, I introduced him to..."Zuki's Nemesis." It's a shiny, silver dome that you can't climb unless you hit it just right. It shut him up for a while as he tried to climb up on his own. I helped him up this time, but the other times, he's like any other male that thinks he doesn't need the help of a woman.

 I love these geek-parks. You don't have to be limber or fit, just determined and barefoot - like pregnant women.

This shot was in Bryant Park. Nothing here but grass, suits eating salad for lunch and anti-social bird owners like the guy in the white cap - nothing to buy here, right? Except the carousel. Can I go on the carousel?

Not for three dollars a ride. No.

And today, we went to Tear Drop Park. Don't ask me, or the park staff for that matter, why it's called Tear Drop Park. As you will see, there's nothing to ask for here, except a good time.

But the green cup Zuki's holding, it must've been left behind by some Haitian nanny. Of course Samu asked if we could take it home.

Finally, if you ask boys to pose for a photo, they'll negotiate that they need a lollipop for the ride home and this is the pose you get:

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll in a Tootsie pop?

Ah, One.

Ah, Two-hoo.



  1. just determined and barefoot - like pregnant women.

    Thanks for the shout out. And for the record, I bet you built up a tolerance. Go for four. I know you can handle it. Just tweet me so I know to do it 3 hours after you and it'll be like we're sharing four drinks. Or I could do it twice.

    Yeah that.

    1. That's too much math for me. AND that's sort of like synchronized swimming - only with shots. Actually, I can go for that...

  2. Mmmm, fruity Mentos. Can you blame the kid?!
    Isn't Bryant Park where they have fashion week, and all the Project Runway designers go there to compete? I watch a lot of quality television programming.

    1. Yup, the very place. It used to be seedy when I was a teenager. I bought my weed there - at midtown prices.

  3. If you're only doing three shots a day you're winning.

    You're not a real mom until your liver is completely cirrhosed.

  4. I love Tito's! I've never heard it mentioned before, never mind blogged about before. Outstanding! I use it for all my martinis!

    1. We should start a Tito's fan club.

  5. Replies
    1. I'm dying to try it myself but the damned kids keep getting in the way!