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Monday, September 12, 2011

The Stepford Wife

I get a kick out of reading parenting "tips." Today, I came across an article on how to save time getting ready in the morning. Three women were featured with a low down of their morning routine but Patricia's solution, dubbed with "Military Precision," took the cake.

Are you ready?

Her husband wakes up at six am, he sets the kids up with Lego's or books, he feeds the pets, he makes coffee, he takes breakfast orders, he MAKES breakfast while mommy sleeps until seven. What does she do until the family leaves the apartment at a military-precise seven forty am? She gets dressed.

That's her solution?

C'mon girl. Surely there's some better advice you could give me besides making my husband and kids do all the work. It's why most moms are stressed out borderline alcoholics.

But wait, Patricia's Military Precision gets better. The kids have to accomplish the teeth brushing, jacket wearing, shoe tying tasks in a timely manner and when they do they get POINTS! And for fifty points they get a TOY. Fifteen dollars or less, of course - we wouldn't want to spoil them, now would we?

Patricia...I gotta hand it to ya, you're a Super Mom. How do you do it? How do you keep track of all those points? How do you manage to get dressed in forty minutes? It's just impossible for a normal chick like me. Not to mention, my kids aren't too keen on the teeth brushing thing. If I left them to do that on their own every morning, well, they'd just brush the bathroom mirror with it. I know you think it's letting them be more responsible but frankly, it just sounds like laziness to me.

So, no. Military Precision isn't going to work with my two boys and especially my husband. As a matter of fact, I find it hard to believe it would work anywhere except Stepford. I'm sorry, are my movie references too old?

On a final note, the last paragraph summarizes how she would eventually like to "ease up" on the strictness. Give the kids more responsibility so they can "micro manage" themselves and give her an opportunity to relax a little bit.

I'm wondering who's more insane, Patricia or the editor who published this crap.

5 comments:

  1. I hate articles like that. I'm honestly surprised they even print that drivel still! Don't they read blogs? Don't they know we are all sick of the Stepford mentality that never worked anyway? Ugh!!

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  2. Maybe the writer/editor had a personal beef with Patricia and wrote the story to make her look like an ass on purpose. It's mind boggling.

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  3. Oh my...that is just uhm...disturbing for lack of a better word.

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  4. I'd say disturbing describes it to a T.

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  5. "I'm wondering who's more insane, Patricia or the editor who published this crap."
    A tie! They are equally insane.

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