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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Y'all Need To Slow Down

About two years ago, I received a speeding ticket. I was going fifty miles an hour through an underpass on Queens Boulevard. The speed limit is thirty-five. There are no crosswalks because the underpass goes under a highway and the cop was obviously baiting. But whateverrrrr. I paid the hundred and fifty dollar fine (yes, that's $150 U.S. dollars in NYC) and moved on.

It did piss me off. But you know what? I stopped driving in such a hurry - lesson learned.

In light of the Raquel Nelson Jaywalking story, speed was the killer. Drugs were an undeniable factor but it doesn't matter because we are focused on the wrong thing...again.

If you haven't heard about her case, Ms. Nelson is the mother who was obscenely convicted of homicide, when her four-year old child was killed by a drunk driver.

It's really ridiculous. I can't understand how the law lets Casey Anthony walk, while convicting Ms. Nelson on a technicality. Don't take this personally, but there are a lot of Yankee fans and New Englanders who are thinking, "The South is f*cked up!"

But let me get back to my point and that is the driver who killed Ms. Nelson's four-year old child should not have had a license. There are a LOT of people who should not have a driver's license. I'm not just talking about those people who are blind in one eye, too old or too young - I'm talking about the morons.

You know who they are. The Death Race 2000 drivers: old man equals 20 points...with cane, bonus 10 points!

Why does the Department of Motor Vehicles give these folks a license to drive? My theory is because we need to sell cars. It keeps our economy going. Like obesity and global warming, it's a problem born out of selfishness. We'll only address it when it stops making money.

When does it stop making money? When it kills all the people who buy their junk.

Yes, I am on my high horse again because I don't own a car. And when I do find myself in the driver's seat, I drive the speed limit - retarded as it is. At one time, I was pissed off at my speeding ticket. Now I'm pissed off that speeding drivers get away with it.

Am I being unreasonably biased against drivers? Probably; but look what I have to deal with. Delivery trucks, taxi and limo drivers - there's not a single decent operator on the road in a big city. And out of the non-commercial drivers, women are the worst. Yes, women. You'd think our calm, nurturing instincts would automatically make us safe drivers but in this city, it's quite the contrary.

I can't tell you how many times I've nearly been plowed over by a car making a turn. Nine times out of ten, the driver was a woman and she sasses me! You'd think my pushing a stroller with a sleeping kid in it would've caught her attention - made her slow down. But no, she's looking for other cars. Not pedestrians. At least not ones you don't hit.

Death Race 2000.

So here it is in a nutshell. It's not neglectful to fail to report your child missing after 31 days but it is homicidal to cross a street without a crosswalk when towing children. Since we cannot stop chickens or mothers trying to get to the other side of the road, can we at least slow the hell down? I mean, you're in a car for crying out loud. That's practically commuting in your living room on wheels - how arduous can it be to take a few minutes longer?

As for Ms. Nelson, I hope she's acquitted of those asinine charges. No mother should ever have to face what she's going through. I hope the prosecution and the judge get hit by a bus.

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