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Thursday, June 2, 2011

I Love A Man In A Uniform

Recently, our elementary school did away with the school uniform. It's really kind of sad because I thought the kids looked really sharp in their white tops and navy blue bottoms. Albeit, my son's tops were camouflaged with pizza sauce and chocolate stains that proved resistant to any kind of stain remover - they still looked smart just the same.

The decision to discontinue the school uniform came about because many of the parents were just not cooperating. All I can say is, that's typical.

Why is it when stupid people do stupid things, everybody else has to bring down the standards to meet their requirements?

Okay, I get it. Some kids want to show off their new jeans that sag beneath their butt - whateverrr. So the answer is to eliminate the laws to make honest citizens out of law breakers?

It reminded me of a time as a floor manager, when I had to enforce a dress code of all black. You'd think I asked the staff to sew on Swastikas - they raised such hell. I found it curious how some people saw a uniform as an attack on their individuality when in truth, having a group wear a uniform makes an individual more outstanding. It calls attention to their actions not their appearance and the amount of confidence a person gains in visually being part of a group is undeniable.

I just can't believe that our public schools are pressuring teachers and students to match Asia and Europe's academic standards and yet they can't even enforce the first step of leveling off the status by having uniforms. What do they think Asian and European kids wear to school - Vera Wang and Versace?

And I have to say, this is what really kills me: you'd think that the kids who showed up to school in street clothes instead of a uniform would be wearing something worth showing off. Like maybe, their parents are fashion designers - not a reach considering I live in New York. Perhaps they could make a statement, set the latest trend - but no. No free fashion tips in the school yard.

Not even religious apparel - the only acceptable reason to eschew the uniform.

It was the parents who supported the equalization of the playing field and sent their kids in uniform versus the parents who thought that everyday was casual Friday. The latter won.

Oh well.

To hell with the school's lack of organization - I'm sending my boys to school in uniform anyway. For one thing, my boys don't know how to coordinate clothing to save their lives. And besides, my mother-in-law already secured brand new white tops and navy blue bottoms for next year.

And if their classmates wonder if Jeff Goldblum set up their wardrobe according to the character he played in "The Fly" remake, who cares? At least my boys will have their pants up OVER their ass.


  1. A lot of schools around here do the Polo shirts (any color solids only) and blue, black or khaki pants ... My son's school is not on the list because we live in South Shore (actually the cheap part aka before it was south shore) a ritzy neighborhood and these folks think they need to dress their kids as they choose. We get a lot of crazy styles at his school... I pretty much dress bug in jeans, t shirts and tennis shoes from Old Navy, Target, and Kohls where ever I can save he most when he needs something ... it is nuts

  2. Yeah and the truly sad thing is, those hundred dollar hoodies are made by some little kid in a sweat shop somewhere!

  3. The British are big on uniforms.

    Want to start a business, come to the UK and set up your own uniform shop. What irritates the hell out of me is, not being able to buy everything on the school uniform list at one shop. More often than not, you end up shopping in two to three different shops. This happens every school year over here.

    I’m completely indifferent when it comes to wearing a uniform. My only complaint: I wish someone would invent shirts that truly are “stain resistant”. I’d even be willing to pay a little more, too.

    And another funny thing about uniforms... Occasionally, the school allows students to wear street clothes. When I come to pickup my beautiful little boy, it’s very difficult for me to find him amongst all the other students, simply because I’m so use to seeing him in a uniform.

    Crazy, huh!