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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome 2011

One New Year's, a long time ago, I had made a resolution not to get ticked off for an entire year. It's not that I have anger management issues, it's just that when you live in New York City, trying to get through an entire day without flipping someone off is like trying to drive in New Jersey without getting lost - it's impossible. So, that year I decided that no matter what happened, I'd accept it with a smile, move on and not harp on it.

It was the most irritating year of my life.

The problem with resolutions like that, just like dieting and abstaining from whatever habits your life entails, is that eventually, you revert back to your old ways. And when you do, it knows no boundaries because instinct automatically shields itself from deprivation. Once it's been starved, it begins to hoard. In trying to gain a little bit of control - you ultimately lose it completely. I'm finding little boys work like that, too but that's a story for another day.

My father always tried to teach me that discipline is better accomplished when you balance - not cancel. Instead of cutting something out, like pizza, why not take a long walk and work it off? Of course, when you top it with Buffalo chicken and help yourself to a couple of slices, you'll find yourself in New Jersey before you walk it off.

Fortunately, my resolution this year has nothing to do with dieting so I don't have to worry about winding up in The Soprano's territory. Hey, I'm a girl and girls just wanna have fun. That's what Cyndi Lauper says and if she can look that good in her late fifties, then I'm on her bandwagon.

This year, I'm not even coming up with a resolution. I'm going to get a word by a Random Word Generator and live my life for an entire month based on what that word is.

The word generated for January of 2011 was "Grant." According to, "Grant" means to bestow, to agree or concede, which if you remember was the most irritating year of my life, but whatever. It's only for a short while and according to P90X, you can do anything for thirty seconds.

Being that 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, I suppose having short term goals is a good idea. I'm just saying that because I know that rabbits don't live for very long. Another thing is, rabbits make lots of baby rabbits and since I'm done procreating, I'm dusting off my chastity belt and plan to wear it until the next Chinese New Year. I'm just kidding, honey (no, I'm not).

Maybe I should pick a word other than "Grant."

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