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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Preciousssss

I don't wear a wedding ring. It's not that I lost it or stopped wearing it, it's not even an act of subconscious denial. I'm just not into rings. Symbolic rings at that. If a person gets confused about my marital status because I'm not wearing a figurative ball and chain, then let him scratch his head - it's usually balding anyway.

It can't be that hard to tell because for the most part, I walk around with a kid or two. That's like a ball and chain and the noose while we're at it. If I'm not sporting the boys around, it hardly matters. I look like a mom. The permanent "mommy's mad" lines on my forehead, the stray gray hair poking out the top of my head - the frizzy mess in a ponytail. And let's not even get into my clothes.

But the past couple of weeks, I've been working at a sales position. Kind of like Avon, only I push printed products so I don't think I can help Edward Scissorhands should I knock on his door accidentally. Unless he shreds stress-reliever balls to relieve his stress.

To clean up my act, I've been washing my face with facial cleanser and not Ajax dish soap with grease cutting action. My work clothes from the days as salon manager have come out from storage - luckily, they were post pregnancy. As for the hair - well, that needs professional execution which costs serious dough - in the meantime, I got a bun and it's not in the oven.

Where does the wedding ring fit into all this?

Well, they way I see it - a sales person can seem as shady as a politician - a wedding ring changes that. Call it a credibility factor - yes, I am loyal. Call it armor - don't mess with me because my husband looks like Mr. Clean. Call it the equivalent of the Red Power Tie - you see I get what I want because I got some fool to marry me, right?

It might sound crazy, but the next time you go to buy a fridge or a car, tell me you don't look for a ring on that finger to decide whether that five percent discount sounds like a deal to you or not.

I guess what I'm saying is, a wedding ring is a sales person's prop. While I don't expect to get better business from it, if I do, don't expect me to call it my precious.

If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!

12 comments:

  1. I find that my wedding ring makes it harder for me to get laid.

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  2. hahaha! now that is one sexy pic. I do wear my wedding ring but I can totally see what you are saying. Hope you sell lots of whatever it is you are selling! I can't sell...anything.

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    1. Thanks! If not "lots" then at least enough for a pedicure.

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  3. Hey, just the ability to call something my precious would have me sold.

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    1. Okay, then...you wanna buy a thousand promotional flower rings and be my first customer?

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  4. A wedding ring explains why I'm not trying to look good anymore. It's important to have good excuses in life.

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    1. You could wear sweatpants and have the same effect. You can't pawn them but at least you'd be comfortable.

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  5. I *do* wear a wedding ring, but it's just a cheap silver band...no gems or anything because I'm just not into jewelry. Not expensive stuff anyways. Ryan wears one exactly like it. So, like you, I'm not crazy about rings...but I'm completely obsessed with symbols. :) Back when Ryan and I got married, I suggested we just tattoo our rings on like Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee did ('cause, obviously, that worked out so well for 'em), but Ryan shat on my idea. Hmph.

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    Replies
    1. We toyed with the tattoo rings as well but used Sharpies instead.

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  6. I was single when I was a sales rep (I sold expensive IT equipment to big ugly corporations...don't judge me) so there was no wedding ring. But I just smiled a lot. That can helped me with my credibility.
    I love my wedding and engagement rings. But I'm a ring person anyway. Can't do necklaces or earrings very well.

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  7. How does that song go, "you're never fully dressed without a smile"? Yes, the smile works for me, too. Psst, if BP wanted to buy three million squishy balls, I'd sell them that!

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