Lewis And Clark And What's-Her-Name

Going into this summer, I was mentally prepared to neglect myself. There's no such thing as time management with my two maniacal monkeys who make me fight for order every minute of the day. My feet look like they've walked a thousand miles barefoot in downtown Beirut and my armpit hair can use a good brushing. Ironically, about the only thing that is going smoothly is the one thing I thought would surely be Hell: our morning reading sessions. Thank you Captain Underpants and Super Diaper Baby. And that's about the strangest thing I've ever said.

Starting today, we have to travel into Manhattan every-friggin-day for Zuki's speech and language program. Supposedly, it'll help him with his learning issues and it's covered by insurance, so the only harrowing part of the arrangement is, I have to entertain the crotch-grabbing-nipple-obssessing-foul-mouthed-midget (a.k.a. Samu) for the hour that Zuki is in session.

Today wasn't so bad - then again, it's just day one.

I decided to take him to the playground across the street. On the way there, he announced to the world, "I gotta take a PISSsss."

I told him to hold it until we got to the restroom and his response (again, to the world) was, "But it's an emergency, so I can PISSsss on the street, right?"

He likes that word, therefore he says with unbridled enthusiasm: PISSssss......

My plan is to use these afternoons for exploration - be their "tour guide" of sorts. I feel like Sacagawea explaining the obvious to two numbskulls in Washington Square Park.

Lewis and Clark explore Washington Sq. Park lunch crowd

"Can we go listen to that lady over there playing the drums?"

"Zuki....that's a banjo."

"Oh, how 'bout that guy over there playing the drums?"

"Zuki...that's a guitar."

Greenwich Village Pizza (made by Mexicans)

At least they didn't ask for a fork and a knife to eat their Greenwich Village pizza. I would've had to get all Jon Stewart on them if they did.

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