Bright As An 80 Watt Bulb

Yesterday we received the results for the "Gifted And Talented" test my five-year-old took back in January. The test consists of the Otis-Lennon School Ability and the Bracken School Readiness Assessment, which basically gauges how well your child listens and follows instructions. Having said that, I think it's no surprise that Zuki didn't qualify - the cheeky, little monkey.

I took comfort in the fact that Zuki's buddies took the test too and failed to qualify. We moms pounded fists in solidarity. Not that we had any delusions - if any of them passed, we would probably chalk it up to Divine Intervention. Of course, I would never tell my son that. He's got enough confidence issues having to deal with his dad's potty-mouth remarks. What kind of person taunts his five-year old son by calling him a "pussy"? And daddy wonders why the boys always punch him in the nuts. Good for them.

So, I let my son know how proud I was of him for taking the test without crapping his pants. I couldn't imagine having to take a test like that at his age (he took it last year, too). Of course, he didn't know what the heck I was talking about, which just makes me wonder if he even really scored 82 percent - how could he forget?

If nothing else, the fact that he took the test will somehow remain an experience for him. He's got a whole life of test-taking ahead of him and I know he's going to hit the nail on the head, one of these days - just like one of these days he's going to know what shoe goes on which foot.