It's temporary, but I plan to milk it for what it's worth. Some people think it's a shit position and do anything they can to avoid it - but not me. Even when I was working, I didn't mind serving. I'm talking about jury duty.
It's a writers mecca if you think about it. All the losers in the world under one roof. Heartless lawyers, jaded plaintiffs and the assholes that they're suing. And if that's not bad enough, they gather all of us clueless citizens to judge the case.
As you can tell from my blog - I don't judge. Stop snickering.
Hey, if the court wants my worthless opinion, I'll spit into my palms, rub them together and say, "Bring on the circus!"
The last time I was in the court house, my husband was summoned to court to pay a credit card bill, which was a result of "Identity Theft." I went with him for moral support (and to carry the crackers and crayons to keep him busy) and I enjoyed the show.
The day we were assigned the court date, there was a guy pacing up and down with some plastic bags. He went up to the window and said, "I ain't got no money - what do I do?"
"Are you a victim of Identity Theft?" The clerk asked.
"Oh no! I owe that money."
"Well, you can speak to a lawyer about claiming bankruptcy but you have to show up to court on this date."
"Okay. But I ain't got no money."
Dumb ass. See, I don't judge.
Do you think we could get away with saying that to China?
If I keep up this attitude, they'll never pick me to sit on a jury. And I kind of want to. But I know the George Carlin in me is going to spew something opinionated.
"I'd make a terrific juror because I can spot guilty people."
Yeah - no. Next!
For the record, I'm not sarcastic or opinionated or tainted or biased. I'm a New Yorker. If you go to one of the three public phones we have in the city, this is what you'll see.
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| The smiley face just makes it friendly |
So, yes. I think I can be impartial in comparison.
