Used Uterus Day

Seven years - that's how long I've been a mother. To me, it feels as if I've been one all my life. There was a time before it - and then there's now. That's it.

To tell you honestly, life is simpler. But that's what happens when you have a clear purpose for living and that is, doing everything to ensure little people don't die. My still-single girlfriends use me as a reminder not to go the raise-a-family route. You can't blame them - I mean, just look at me. My hair needs mowing, my Franken-jeans are appalling and my eyebrows are bushier than Donald Trump's!

But it's these moments that make me swell with joy (and beer might also have something to do with it):

The Communal Bone. We don't have dogs, so we let the boys clean their teeth with it. They've been working on it since Sunday night. In their defense, it was a fantastic rib eye steak.

Then there's the Fortune Cookie that came with Monday night's Chinese dumplings. Samu cracked it open and said, "Oh, yay! Coupons!"

My fortune says I should learn to read!

Should you be working on Mother's Day cards with the help of your mother? Well, who else knows how to spell "appreciate" - Daddy?

Mistaking a greeting for an essay

So the count down to Mother's day begins, because no one is exempt. We may not all be mothers but we certainly came from one. Besides, not matter how nice she is, she'll never, ever, ever let us forget that we occupied her uterus once...and left mess.